-19.. 20 in january
-Ahhh my interests are soooo many.... I would have to say... writing, reading, friends, love, helping, movies, politics (to an extent) religion... that was vague but i have too many to just list as simply "interests"
-oooh to find a picture.... i went with cute over pretty
-People inspire me. I know its cliche and overused but frankly its true. People I know, people I will never know inspire me. I think i get too involved in movies, im too empathetic that when i watch movies i get so emotionally involved and the characters have the power to inspire me or to crush me. I get inspired by all the life and beauty around me.
-I'm most afraid of myself. I think that i'm my own worst enemy. I'm afraid of giving myself what i know i deserve, afraid of truly letting go and being happy, afraid that people will discover that im not as perfect as they think i am, afraid that there isn't more in me, afraid that i will never achieve all that i want, afraid that i'll never even try. I'm afraid of what i can do, and what i wont do.
-My biggest fault. My kindness. I know it shouldn't be a fault but i think that i get used for it all the time. I feel underappreciated. Maybe its my selfishness, i shouldn't expect so much from people. Maybe its my indecision =)
-My greatest quality is my strenght. Even though its often hidden from me. The fact that after all i have been through im still able and willing to love
-I cheated on my boyfriend of two years, Matt, multiple times. But i would never do it again, and hate the person that i was then.
-I can bring a new voice. A new idea.
-Ahh one favorite person! Sigh. My ex and good friend Swan (real name Alan) Because in our relationship and out he is the most dedicated amazing person. When there is something in his life he wants, he goes and gets it. If there is something he doesnt agree with he changes it. He has amazing morals, convictions, and passion. I am consistantly amazed by all that he is able to achieve and wonder how I could ever do as much as he does. He has unbearable light and love in him.
-Favorite writer...wow tough one. Poetry definitely Sylvia Plath because she's amazing. I almost did an independent study on her. Her words are so amazing and filled with so much depth that i am amazed by her, and forever wish that i could write with the strenght that she does. I have yet to find a favorite author. I have read many amazing books by great writers, but there isn' t one that particularly blows me away.
-All my teachers and friends think that im an amazing writer with great potential. I disagree. I've also had writers block since May. Nothing i write seems worth it to finish. I cant seem to get going.
-Ah! Only one... this is so hard. Though i like my short stories better (though they're hardly short) i'm going to post a poem. Probably not my best, but one that i like.
Like a Soldiers Wife
I will try to be brave and carry on
But I have no respect or dignity to reach for
My heart rips with every passing hour
And no word from you
Like a soldiers wife
I patiently wait for you to return from battle
But you are fighting a war with my demons
And I wait
Knowing your wounds and your blood
Are spilt on my hands
And you shouldn't have put on that uniform
And you shouldn't have marched into battle
For I am not a cause worth fighting for
My body slowly rises
And I look out my window
Hoping to see you return
But instead my hands shake
For I feel as though you --
Covered in dust
And like a soldiers wife
Not knowing if you'll return
Not knowing if you are dead or alive
As the tears fall
The blood growing deeper at my feet.